I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
