I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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