I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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