No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
