At least make sure they are 18
Why
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
