What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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