You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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