You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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