I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
