i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
