I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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