She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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