i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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