nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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