well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
