So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
