You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
