I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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