Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize