can we get nightvision for the apartment?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
