dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
No subtext here. People are naked.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
