And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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