The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
