Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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