I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
