I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
