Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize