Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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