i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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