remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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