Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
