just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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