You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
