I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
