my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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