Kiss
Puke
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
