do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
