I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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