they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
