dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
honey bunches of taint.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
