is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
