Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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