when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
