I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
