screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
