dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
