Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
