What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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