lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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