Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
