I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
